Before I was published, I read several articles by authors who encouraged unpublished writers to enjoy their time without deadlines and expectations, to enjoy getting to be a writer, someone who polishes words and crafts stories and spends time prancing around in their characters’ heads.
Every time I saw an article like
that, I thought: Easy for you to say. I assumed they didn’t remember the
rejections, the worry, the doubt that the words they had bled over, the
characters they loved so much, would never be seen by anyone else. I assumed
they forgot what it felt like to doubt themselves.
They had not.
Both writers and authors still
deal with self-doubt. They still aren’t as good as they want to be, and they
worry they never will be. They still hate their first drafts (or maybe that’s
just me).
Maybe what I’m saying isn’t true
for everyone, but it is true for me. In my mind, the difference between being
an author and being a writer is the business part. And for me, I love being a
writer.
I want to immerse myself in my
fictional world. I want to write new words, discover new characters, follow
them on new journeys. I want to revise. (I really love that part.) I want to
take the mess I’ve created and make it better. Smooth it out. Erase the
wrinkles. Tuck in the corners. Tidy everything up.
I want to be a writer.
But sometimes I’m an author.
Sometimes I have to answer interview questions. And work on marketing. (I’m not
very good at that part.) I’ve done book talks and signings and Skype chats with
classrooms. And I loved every single minute of it. I’m grateful for bloggers
who are willing to interview me. I want people to hear about Reclaimed and read it. I adore my
readers and am so very thankful.
And I absolutely love meeting
with and talking to teens. They ask the best questions.
But if I’m not careful, being an
author will start to siphon away the time I need to be a writer.
At the end of the day, it’s hard
to take your art and make it a career. I’ve always had to horde my writing
time, but that’s even more true now that I also have to carve out time for the
author side of the equation.
Reclaimed has been out in the world almost two months now. I am so
very grateful for readers, and bloggers, those who’ve emailed me how much they
loved the book, and those who’ve written reviews. I’ve had a blast meeting you,
answering your questions, sharing book recommendations. Thank you for taking
this journey with me.
But now, I have to go write. It’s
who I am after all.
love the post thanks so much for sharing denise smith denise226@verizon.net
ReplyDelete